Thursday Utterly Sucked...

I woke up Very tired from working 11 hours at store, then 1 hour modding chatroom, then til 1am editing website. So I got to work this morning draggin. I immediately felt guilt when I saw the work I’d left for myself to do cause I was too lazy to do it yesterday. So while I was already feeling guilt, I decided to call Mom even though it would cost me a fortune on my cell. She wasn’t home. Mom has Ovarian Cancer which is the incarnation of pure Evil on Earth. She’s been on chemo, had the surgery, been completely fine afterward and left the rest of us in the dust trying to keep up with her,… Until recently.

Just after Connie(my sister) and Mom decided to go in together on a business deal to sell their baked goods, things started going downhill. They couldn’t get the business til they got a certified kitchen. Then Mom started feeling a pain. She just knew it was the cancer again… one Dr told her it was constipation. So we laughed it off. Then she had to go to the hospital to drain fluid from her lungs. It wasn’t her heart this time, it was the cancer. Ovarian cancer causes fluid…LOTS of it. So after they drained it, she was still really weak. They put her on a new medication which is for something else, but should work on her problem. She was on it for a while. Last Monday she was supposed to come off of it and get the results from her Dr. I was supposed to call her… I never did.. I meant to. I work all day and have a million things occupying my mind and never even look at a phone til 10pm or so. Then yesterday was her birthday and I couldn’t call because I had to work 9am-8pm and my cellphone was dead.

Ok so I called this morning and there was no answer. So I called Connie’s house. No answer. So I called Connie’s cellphone. She answered and I asked if she was busy. She said “I’m sitting ehre with Mom in the hospital ER, what are YOU doing?” It was a nasty tone of voice… one I know well from her. So she said they needed to get Mom on fluids because she was completely dehydrated due to the chemo.. which I didn’t know she was on again,.. So I talked to Mom and she told me she didn’t believe I had meant to call.. she really had me in tears. I told her I did think of her and always meant to call,.. but she just didn’t know what my life is like… She actually then said “Well I forgive you” I know she doesn’t feel well. But I don’t think I deserved that.

I called back a little while later and asked if they had a room number yet. I planned to go see her since C needed to drive back to Rogersville today anyway. They said they wouldn’t admit her, but had given her a bag of fluids, a nausea shot and a med to make her hungry. Then as if nothing mean had been said, Connie said we needed to talk about the birthday party Sunday. I told her I’d get the garlic bread and not to worry about it. She said it would be for 60 people instead of the 100 she had told me. They said they’d see me Sunday… I guess it’s all fine and dandy now. Make Patty feel guilty, make her feel like the belly of a snake then forget it all happened.

They never asked how I was….

I’m not bitter…